My battle with food

So as I try and figure out my aches and pains, I will try and stick to my healthy eating. Food has always been my strongest challenge. I realized I do a lot of comfort eating, every time I stress out even a little bit, I turn to food-a lot of food. Right now I am going through a tough time in my life and my instincts make me want to reach out to food all the time. I am always walking to the fridge to find something to eat but ever since I started trying to lose weight I always feel guilty and disgusted every time I binge eat and then I feel like throwing up. It has been so hard trying to fight being a bulimic and if I can make a confession I would say that I have succumbed to the act a few times.

Its a struggle but I am still trying to build a healthy relationship with food. Since I started like a week ago, I have cut out all fast foods, no more burgers, fries or anything unhealthy from fast food restaurants. This is going to be difficult but I am going to do my best. I had also decided to cut out soda and juice from stores but I had to reverse the decision on the juice because I love juice and they always say a change in eating habits should be something you can sustain for the rest of your life if need be. I love juice and saying I could never drink it would be ridiculous and would be setting myself up for failure so I have decided to cut back on drinking of juice to much less that I used to. I know this will reduce the sugar I take in.

I am a good cook so that works in my favor because I end up cooking all my meals and in that way I know what goes into all that I eat. Although sometimes it is hard to know how many calories I eat because I always put in alot of ingredients like garlic, pepper and a lot of seasoning.

I also decided to make sure I have my dinner before 8pm and have nothing else after that time. This is sometimes hard because my boyfriend and I go to sleep very late and he tends to snack a lot during the night time. But I am working on that and so far so good.

Of aches and pains

I think I may have overdone it yesterday, I woke up with a bad backache in the morning. I thought the best way to handle it is to do some yoga stretches, which I failed at miserably because it was my first time doing yoga. So anyway after trying to stretch I decided to get back into my exercise routine which is a DVD by Jillian Michaels called the 30 day shred. Its pretty intense and I was hoping it will help my back if I work out as usual as opposed to not working out at all. But it seems something may have gone wrong because even after the exercise my back hurt like crazy.

I went and stood in my shower and let hot water run down my back to see if it would help relax the muscles. By the time my boyfriend came back home I was in so much pain I had to ask him to rub some icy-hot on my back. I then went to bed but still woke up with the backache. I don't know whether to not exercise today or what to do with it. I think part of the reason for the backache is my period that I am expecting in a few days but it has never been that intense and usually never lasts more than two days.

I think I will just do some soft stretches today because I don't want this injury to be the end of my weight loss journey.

Some people may wonder why I choose to do indoor exercise and low impact exercises like swimming instead of going out running or jogging. Well my main reason is that a little over 2 years ago I was involved in a car accident and my shins were hurt pretty bad. It took some stitches and a lot of time to heal. The doctor at the time told me it would be a long healing process but what I did not bank on is that even years down the line I would still have problems with my feet because of it. I found this out the hard way when one day after being on the treadmill for like 20 minutes my ankles swelled up and were so painful, walking was a problem. That was a few months ago. Even now if I started running and stuck to it for like a week I would get pain around my ankle and feet. So taking advise from my doctor, I decided to stick to low impact exercise.

Okay enough with the complaints, its back to this weight loss business. Wish me luck.